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Silent, clear, nameless tears.
Raining like shards of glass.
I am cautious to come close,
yet curious enough to reach out and touch.
The pain is searing. I am bleeding.
Agony flows throughout my body.
Darkness now, engulfing me in flames.
What does it mean? Why can't I see it?
I feel it on my skin, I see it on the ground,
yet when I look up...it is gone.
I feel my heart being torn apart.
Slowly, painfully, day by day.
The savage teeth are slicing my soul;
Strangling my inner voice.
This war is always raging; neverending for me.
I have no weapons for fighting back,
only my insanity.
I want to break free, be me, Show the world who I am .
I feel like I am dieing inside,
ripped apart and torn at the seams.
There is an emptyness I cannot bear,
searching for a freedom I cannot find...
Hoping for a change to begin.
The Coffee GodThe Coffee God behind the counter shuffles foot to foot, a dance of steam and espresso. Black painted fingernails, inch gauged ears and a gray striped sweatshirt, hood crooked on his back. There's a cigarette tucked behind one ear; it bobs and twitches with each step.
“Non-fat caramel latte,” he calls, just as he always does, part of a spell, part of a mantra, toneless (just a tuck at the end). I reach. He looks up.
The espresso maker hisses.
There's something like a grin, something like a spark, something like a shared secret linked eye to eye. When he passes over the drink (rough cardboard sleeve hot to the touch), he lingers. Our fingers brush, a shiver, a jolt, a ten-watt shock.
The Coffee God tilts his chin, shouts, “Hey, mind if I take my break now?”
and ducks around the counter without waiting for a reply.
He slips his cigarette between his lips without taking his eyes from mine. I follow him out the door.
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